You'll Understand When...

A friend reminded me of the phrase "You'll understand when you have children."

When I was young I disliked it as a non-answer. People used it instead of trying to explain something.

When I was older but still single I was uncomfortable with the assumption that I would or should have children. (Aforementioned friend doesn't like that assumption either.)

Now that I'm a parent, I think that "You'll understand when you have children" is a short, thoughtless way of saying "If you had been dealing with a baby for hours, days, and weeks while extremely sleep-deprived you would be able to recognize certain behaviors and do certain tasks instinctively, too."

There's also the emotional attachment to the baby. Some of that is hormones. Before labor and delivery I was fond of the autonomous being who lived in my abdomen. Immediately after delivery, I thought she was adorable, loved her, and strongly wanted to protect her and keep her close. That was a sudden emotional change that coincided with a sudden dose of hormones.

So if you're a parent and you have the urge to tell someone, "You'll understand when you have children." consider starting with, "It's difficult to explain, but let me try." instead.