Baby Monitors Don't Monitor Just The Baby

I left Husband asleep in our bed and Daughter 0.1 asleep in her crib (which is in our bedroom) to do some online shopping and catch up on LOLcats when I heard this horrible noise through the baby monitor. I rushed to the crib worrying I'd find Daughter 0.1 coughing hard to keep from choking or vomiting worse than she ever has in her short life.

Instead I find her squinting with her hands in front of her face and body language that clearly said "Mom, I was sleeping. Why'd you turn on the light?"

Surprised, I stopped and listened. The shower was running. I walked into the bathroom to catch my husband sneezing. And sneezing again.

So through a closed door, over the noise of the shower, the baby monitor picked up my husband's sneezing fit while our baby was sleeping peacefully.

You'll Understand When...

A friend reminded me of the phrase "You'll understand when you have children."

When I was young I disliked it as a non-answer. People used it instead of trying to explain something.

When I was older but still single I was uncomfortable with the assumption that I would or should have children. (Aforementioned friend doesn't like that assumption either.)

Now that I'm a parent, I think that "You'll understand when you have children" is a short, thoughtless way of saying "If you had been dealing with a baby for hours, days, and weeks while extremely sleep-deprived you would be able to recognize certain behaviors and do certain tasks instinctively, too."

There's also the emotional attachment to the baby. Some of that is hormones. Before labor and delivery I was fond of the autonomous being who lived in my abdomen. Immediately after delivery, I thought she was adorable, loved her, and strongly wanted to protect her and keep her close. That was a sudden emotional change that coincided with a sudden dose of hormones.

So if you're a parent and you have the urge to tell someone, "You'll understand when you have children." consider starting with, "It's difficult to explain, but let me try." instead.

Why do people believe weird things?

Many people believe many things that aren't true, or that aren't provably true. Whether it's something to cure the common cold, cause bad luck, or guaranteed to make money fast there are many who buy it, avoid it, invest in it, and tell their friends how it worked for them.

There are many websites debunking such things or embracing science that shows what is true or false. Skepchick and Snopes are two I like.

But today I wonder why people believe weird things.

People develop superstitions easily.
I had a friend years ago who wore the same sweatshirt a few times while watching his favorite sports team win on TV. He developed a belief that he had to wear that sweatshirt during a game in order for the team to win. This pattern is very common. The same thing happens a few times in a row and people believe it is "always" true. Once the superstition is established people remember the events that reinforce it and discount the events that don't. Have you ever thought or said something like:
- "This traffic light is always red."
- "This line at the grocery store is always faster."
- "My gate at the airport never changes."
- "I never loose my keys."
- "I catch colds more than most people."
- "It always rains on holidays."
Chances are the light, line, gate, etc. is random and your perception is wrong. The only way to know is to carefully track the events so you have solid data to counteract your selective memory.

The human brain is great at finding patterns.
It's so good at finding patterns that it finds them where they don't exist. Have you ever found shapes in clouds? I used to do that as a child; lie on the grass and watch the clouds go by and call out ones that looked like a ship or a bunny. Of course the similarity is only coincidence, there is no mechanism causing a certain cloud to specifically resemble a rabbit. Evolution clearly favored the ability to find every real pattern (and some false ones) over avoiding false patterns (and missing some real ones). I don't know why recognizing patterns is so beneficial but I'm sure there's an evolutionary biologist or evolutionary psychologist with a good hypothesis.

Logical fallacies are difficult.
Okay, maybe they're not difficult to understand while reading about them or during a formal debate, but most people don't internalize that understanding well enough to recognize logical fallacies at other times. Two common ones are:
- "Post hoc ergo propter hoc." That's Latin for "After this therefore because of this." The fallacy is thinking that since B happened after A, B was caused by A. I think this fallacy explains why so many people believe vaccines cause autism. The age when autism symptoms usually first show up is after the MMR vaccine is routinely given. So when those poor parents hear this horrible diagnosis the most recent event in their child's life was that vaccine. But believing that causal relationship makes as much sense as believing that breakfast causes lunch or that fifth grade causes puberty.
- "Correlation does not indicate causation." Lots of things increase or decrease at the same time, but that's mostly coincidence. Over time the population increases and the year number increases. That doesn't mean that incrementing the year makes the population go up. Further, if we decide next year is year 10,000 and then we'll count backwards every year, that won't make the population go down. But it's easy for someone to assume causation when they see a correlation, and easier when there's an official looking line graph.

People tend to believe other people.
Humans are social. We thrive when get along with each other and learn from each other. So when a friend says "This supplement cured my cold" or "This stock is certain to go up" people tend to believe it. It's more social, easier, and more pleasant to trust one's friends (or newscasters, priests, aerobic instructors, etc.) than to do one's own analysis. So once an unproven or incorrect idea is out there it tends to spread.

Most people don't trust the scientific method.
The scientific method is the best tool we have to understand our universe. Sadly, most people picture science as the combination of books full of facts and authority figures who call themselves scientists. Most people don't know (or don't think about) the process that finds all those facts. Many people trust the Bible more than science texts and clergy more than scientists...and they think these things are similar.

So there are reasons why people believe various sorts of woo; understandable, human reasons. But I think it is responsible to question one's beliefs, assess the evidence, and discard unsubstantiated beliefs.

Motherhood Has Turned Down My Gross-O-Meter

I used to think that urine and feces were categorically gross. My own was acceptable when it went directly into the toilet and was flushed promptly and successfully. Anything else was gross.

Feel free to stop reading now. Really.

[If you know how to do a cut, jump, fold, "Read More", or whatever it's called in Blogger, please leave a comment and let me know how. I can't seem to figure it out and I have yet to find anything about it in Blogger's help articles.]





Daughter 0.1 spit up a lot early this afternoon. Repeatedly. Since I was walking around the house holding her at the time, she spat up on my shoulder, down my back, on the back of my right calf, and on the floor. When she seemed to be done I figured I'd change my shirt and give her a quick bath.

Did you read that? "Quick bath." That was foreshadowing.

Bath time always includes some risk of a mess because the diaper has to come off before the baby goes into the bath. So far we've been lucky with the naked baby transportation.

This time she peed on me. Since I was holding her upright against my chest she peed on my shirt and shorts. For a small creature she can let loose a lot of urine. My pre-motherhood reaction to being peed on would have been quite vocal and I would have gotten the pee off me before doing anything else. Instead, I finished putting the baby in the bath* and thought about how I would pick up my clean baby after the bath without getting her pee back on her.

*Her bath is in the laundry room sink for now. She fits, it's more comfortable than bending over a tub, and it has a vegetable sprayer.**

**Clearly these aren't foot notes since they're in the middle, but I'm not sure what to call them. Asterisk-ized digressions?

So there I am, half-soaked with baby pee, holding the baby in one arm so I can wash her bottom when she starts to poo. And poo. And poo some more.

For the first few weeks, babies poo often. The tracking sheet from the hospital says 4 to 12 times a day. But once their digestion matures enough breast-fed babies poo much less often since they absorb most of what they take in. One baby health book says not to worry if they only poo once a week. Today is Friday and until this afternoon Daugher0.1 hadn't pooed since Monday. I don't think she was absorbing; I think she was saving it up.

She's still pooing in the sink and I'm using the vegetable sprayer in one hand to wash the poo down the drain and off her feet while I'm holding her partly upright with the other hand. I'm not saying "EWWW!", I'm not thinking "This is gross." Instead I'm thinking, "My arm's getting tired. I hope she's done soon." After some more pooing I start to think it's a good thing she's pooing in the sink because this much wouldn't fit in a diaper and a leaky diaper is a bad, surprising kind of mess.

Becoming a mother has drastically increased my tolerance for things that come out of babies.

Wiki Worldflicks: Images and Maps

I was looking for a picture of a waterfall and happened across an image wiki build on Google maps.

http://wiki.worldflicks.org

I had a hard time navigating to a specific place, but The Smithsonian is a good place to start.

Have fun!

Burping Baby Baboons

Do other species than humans have to burp their babies? Do non-human primate mothers walk around all day patting their babies on the back?

If not, why do human infants need help getting gas out?

Sex ed is viewed differently from other ed

This morning NPR's Diane Rehm show had a panel discussion about abstinence only versus comprehensive sexual education. I only listened to part of it, but it struck me that the panelist in favor of abstinence only sex ed thought that teaching students how to have sex safely before marriage would make it likely that the students would do so.

That's a common argument against sex ed, that giving the information in school also gives permission, and I've heard that argument before. But today I thought about what else is taught in school and therefore has the same authority and acceptance; iambic pentameter for example. Various forms of poetry are taught in high school English classes, but parents don't worry much about their children becoming poets against their wishes.

Clearly there is something about sex that entices kids that poetry, history, chemistry, or other school topics lack.

I'm in favor of comprehensive sex ed; I think children should have the information and that parents can try to guide them about whether or when to use it.

Remember that kids talk to each other. Someone who won't have sex before marriage likely has friends who will. Let's educate everyone so that the locker room conversations can be accurate and useful.

Breastfeeding: Tricker than I'd expected

It never occurred to me to wonder about the functional details of breastfeeding until recently. I figured that hormones Did Things to the mother's breasts, infants suck instinctively, and it would work as simply as an adult drinking through a straw. I'd heard about women having trouble with not producing enough milk or with sore nipples. When I thought about it at all, I assumed that nipples became sore because they were chapped and that some type of lotion would help.

My assumptions were wrong.

Yes, infants suck instinctively, but they can latch onto the nipple correctly or incorrectly. An incorrect latch hurts. It can hurt a little bit, or it can cause feet-kicking, face-scrunching pain. Have you ever sprained a joint and had to hop on the other foot or wave the other hand while saying "ow, ow, ow" (or something less polite) in a very loud voice in order to handle the pain? It's like that, eight to ten times a day.

I now understand why some animals abandon their young.

Don't worry and please don't call Child Protective Services. I'm not going to abandon Daughter 0.1. I'm not even going to stop feeding her breast milk. Unlike wild animals, I have good options for dealing with nipple pain. The most convenient one is painkillers. If one feeding goes particularly badly, I can take an ibuprofen or acetaminophen and that keeps the next feeding from hurting as much. We have a breast pump so I can pump milk out of my breasts and feed it to her in bottles. And for help finding a permanent solution, there are lactation consultants. So far I have spoken to two on the phone and had appointments with two others.

The baby prep breastfeeding class and the nurses who helped me with breastfeeding while I was still in the hospital said it was important to get a deep latch, but one of the lactation consultants I spoke to after coming home gave me an exercise that really explained why. Put your finger in your mouth so that your teeth are on the first joint and suck. The part of the tongue under your finger tip is flat and pushing up against your finger. The part of the roof of your mouth above your fingernail is flat and low. Now move your finger so that your teeth are at the second knuckle and suck. The tongue under your fingertip rounds down when you suck, and the roof of your mouth above your fingernail is round and a little higher. So a bad, shallow latch squeezes the nipple between two flat surfaces while a good, deep latch cradles the sensitive tip of the nipple between round, roomier parts of the mouth.

So breastfeeding well seems to requires more than instinct. I'm working with lactation consultants so that Daughter 0.1 and I can improve our technique and get a deep latch every time.